Funeral Service
The following are just a few suggestions that can help funeral
homes personalize the funeral for you. You may of course think
of several other unique ways to bring out the life of the person
who has died into the funeral service. If so, please bring them
to the funeral director's attention and they will make every effort
to see to it that your wishes are met. And remember, by having
a funeral and reflecting on a life that has been lived, you guarantee
that everyone your loved one ever said hello to, will have a chance
to say good bye!
Write a letter to the person who has died and express all of
the feelings you ever wanted to say, but were afraid to or just
never got around to expressing. Seal the letter in an envelope
and place it in the casket. Your written thoughts will go with
your loved one to his or her final resting place.
Bring in the favorite song of the person who has died on compact
disc or cassette and your Funeral Director will play it for you
during the visitation and/or funeral service.
Request from your Funeral Director that helium balloons be ordered
to release after the grave site service. Everyone can be given
one and some brief words can be said before releasing them in
the air.
Bring in photographs spanning the life of the person who has
died and your Funeral Director will incorporate them into a memory
board to be present at the visitation and funeral service. These
can be photos with family, friends at work, fishing or hunting,
golfing, knitting, baking, serious and comical. No photo is in
bad taste when it depicts the life of the one you are commemorating.
If your loved one had a hobby of building things or was involved
in the arts, crafts or photography, bring some of their works
in to be displayed at the funeral home. Your Funeral Director
can even take quilt work and drape it over the casket for example.
If you have favorite scripture readings, let them know what they
are and your Funeral Director will see to it that they are incorporated
into the service.
If your loved one composed poetry or essays, let your Funeral
Director have a copy. Your Funeral Director will reproduce several
copies so that people might take it with them from the funeral
home or perhaps they could be recited as a part of the remembering
ritual of the funeral.
If the person who died was not a regular church goer, consider
having the funeral in a favorite place that perhaps reflected
their lifestyle like a favorite park, the marina if he or she
was a boater, a basketball court, or center ice. The possibilities
are numerous.
In the Catholic church during the presentation of gifts, family
members may elect to bring them forward themselves for presentation
to the priest. Even the youngest grandchild are honored to act
in this capacity.
What may seem very hard to do at the time, but is cherished for
years after the funeral, is when family members close the casket
instead of the funeral staff. As our mothers always tucked us
in at night as children, closing her casket is the last time they
can tuck her in. It is a very tender moment for the family to
say their last good bye to the physical body.
Eulogize the person who has died during the funeral or visitation.
Oftentimes the clergyperson did not know the person who has died
and since the funeral is intended to recognize a life that has
been lived, it is important to recognize that life in a personal
way. Who better can do that than someone who knew the person who
died on a personal basis.
Place cherished items in the casket like pictures of the grandchildren
and other family members, a photo of the family pet, a favorite
golf club, a pool stick, a well worn baseball cap, or a religious
item. Your Funeral Director welcomes all of them as your way of
saying good bye.
If a husband always drove his wife everywhere or a wife drove
her husband to his appointments, consider having the spouse drive
the hearse to the cemetery or at least ride in the hearse with
our staff member. It is a very personal way of accompanying your
loved one to their final resting place.
In processing to the cemetery, consider a favorite place your
loved one liked to go, like their favorite park, or the beach,
or a favorite restaurant, or maybe they were happiest at home.
Your Funeral Director will arrange to have the procession pass
by this favorite place.
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